"Magnify not the faults of others that thine own faults may not appear great"
Fault-finding, blame and accusation are related to bitterness, because often what lies behind it, is our lower nature which wants us to think the worst of others and blame and accuse them, so that we stay trapped in the prison of self, far removed from our true station. When we focus on other’s faults, we only draw those negative forces unto ourselves and will be unhappy.
Beware lest ye harm any soul, or make any heart to sorrow; lest ye wound any man with your words, be he known to you or a stranger, be he friend or foe. Pray ye for all; ask ye that all be blessed, all be forgiven. Beware, beware, lest any of you seek vengeance, even against one who is thirsting for your blood. Beware, beware, lest ye offend the feelings of another, even though he be an evil-doer, and he wish you ill. Look ye not upon the creatures, turn ye to their Creator. See ye not the never-yielding people, see but the Lord of Hosts. Gaze ye not down upon the dust, gaze upward at the shining sun, which hath caused every patch of darksome earth to glow with light.” (Abdu'l-Baha, Selections from the Writings of Abdu'l-Baha, p. 73)
“The Cause of God hath never had any place for denouncing others as infidel or profligate, nor hath it allowed anyone to humiliate or belittle another. Contend and wrangle not with any man, and seek ye not the abasement of any soul. Disparage not anyone’s name, and wish no harm upon anyone. Defile not your tongues with calumny, and engage ye not in backbiting.” (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, provisional translation quoted in the Universal House of Justice message, 2001 Apr 18)
“Faultfinding and backbiting are the characteristics of the weak minds and not the friends. Self-exaltation is the attribute of the stranger and not of the Beloved.”(Abdu’l-Baha- Star of the West, Star of the West - 1)
“Adorn with infinite love and concord the assemblage of beatitude, bring about the meeting of happiness, establish the banquet of the oneness of the realm of humanity, loosen your tongues in praising each other, and then anticipate the presence of 'Abdu'l-Bahá in your midst.” (Abdu’l-Baha - Star of the West, Star of the West)
Fault-finding, constant criticism and magnifying the mistakes of others are ineffective ways of changing the world. Holy writings warn us against fault finding and encourage us to centre our energies in correcting our own short comings.
“If the fire of self overcome you, remember your own faults and not the faults of My creatures, inasmuch as every one of you knoweth his own self better than he knoweth others.” (Baha’u'llah, The Persian Hidden Words 66)
“It is my hope that you may consider this matter, that you may search out your own imperfections and not think of the imperfections of anybody else. Strive with all your power to be free from imperfections. Heedless souls are always seeking faults in others. What can the hypocrite know of others’ faults when he is blind to his own?” (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 244)
“Whenever you recognize the fault of another, think of yourself! What are my imperfections?—and try to remove them. Do this whenever you are tried through the words or deeds of others. Thus you will grow, become more perfect. You will overcome self, you will not even have time to think of the faults of others...” (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Star of the West‘, Volume 8, No. 10, p 138)
“As long as a man does not find his own faults, he can never become perfect. Nothing is more fruitful for man than the knowledge of his own shortcomings. The Blessed Perfection says, “I wonder at the man who does not find his own imperfections.” (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 244)
“On no subject are the Bahá'í teachings more emphatic than on the necessity to abstain from fault-finding and backbiting while being ever eager to discover and root out our own faults and overcome our own failings.” (From a letter written on behalf of the Guardian to an individual believer, May 12, 1925: Living the Life, p.3; Lights of Guidance, p. 88)
When we approach people with love and understanding—we will find the same reflected in their approach to us. We should focus on people’s merits and strengths; not on their weaknesses and defects—this is the secret of a harmonious and peaceful life. A sunny temperament can do wonders. There is much better chance to set a wrong right with a smile and kind words.
“A kindly tongue is the lodestone of the hearts of men.” (Baha'u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha'u'llah, p. 289)
“Incline your hearts to the counsels given by the Most Exalted Pen and beware lest your hands or tongues cause harm unto anyone among mankind.” (Baha'u'llah, Tablets of Baha'u'llah, p. 85)
“If ye become aware of a sin committed by another, conceal it, that God may conceal your own sin. He, verily, is the Concealer, the Lord of grace abounding.” (Baha'u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 55)
“One must expose the praiseworthy qualities of the souls and not their evil attributes. The friends must overlook their shortcomings and faults and speak only of their virtues and not their defects." (Abdu’l-Baha- Compilations, Lights of Guidance, p. 91)
“As there is no one who has not his designated place in the world, for there is nothing useless on this earth, we must treat each individual with respect and affection, for each is a sign of the divine favour and power - that power which has been able to draw such a being out of matter, make of him a creature with sensorial faculties and endow him with intellectual and spiritual potentiality. This is one of the visible proofs of the divine power. Let us respect these living proofs”. (Abdu'l-Baha, Divine Philosophy, p. 58)
"Let not your heart be offended with anyone. If some one commits an error and wrong toward you, you must instantly forgive him. Do not complain of others. Refrain from reprimanding them, and if you wish to give admonition or advice, let it be offered in such a way that it will not burden the bearer. Turn all your thoughts toward bringing joy to hearts." (Abdu’l-Baha - The Promulgation of Universal Peace)
When we see good in others! When we utter kind words and have loving thoughts about them, we will find that this has a healing effect on them, and us. Harsh words and criticism cause people to shrink and wither. The happy, positive individual does not criticise, he does not find faults with others. If we begin to see the good in others, our minds will always be at peace, and the world around us will smile.
“ One must see in every human being only that which is worthy of praise. When this is done, one can be a friend to the whole human race. If, however, we look at people from the standpoint of their faults, then being a friend to them is a formidable task.....Thus is it incumbent upon us, when we direct our gaze toward other people, to see where they excel, not where they fail.”― Abdu’l-Baha
“If a man has ten good qualities and one bad one, to look at the ten and forget the one; and if a man has ten bad qualities and one good one, to look at the one and forget the ten.” (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, , Bahá’u’lláh and the New Era, p. 83)
“You must manifest complete love and affection toward all mankind. Do not exalt yourselves above others, but consider all as your equals, recognizing them as the servants of one God. Know that God is compassionate toward all; therefore, love all from the depths of your hearts, prefer all religionists before yourselves, be filled with love for every race, and be kind toward the people of all nationalities. Never speak disparagingly of others, but praise without distinction. Pollute not your tongues by speaking evil of another. Recognize your enemies as friends, and consider those who wish you evil as the wishers of good. You must not see evil as evil and then compromise with your opinion, for to treat in a smooth, kindly way one whom you consider evil or an enemy is hypocrisy, and this is not worthy or allowable.” (Abdu'l-Baha, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 452)
“Thus is it incumbent upon us, when we direct our gaze toward other people, to see where they excel, not where they fail.” (Abdu'l-Baha, Selections from the Writings of Abdu'l-Baha, p. 169)
The Holy writings remind us that the purpose of our existence is to worship God and serve others. Also we are only responsible for our own spiritual growth. When we’re busy focusing on our own affairs, we don’t have time to dwell on the faults of others.
“Let your thoughts dwell on your own spiritual development, and close your eyes to the deficiencies of other souls.” (Abdu'l-Baha, Selections from the Writings of Abdu'l-Baha, p.
"... Each of us is responsible for one life only, and that is our own. Each of us is immeasurably far from being 'perfect as our heavenly Father is perfect' and the task of perfecting our own life and character is one that requires all our attention, our will- power and energy. If we allow our attention and energy to be taken up in efforts to keep others right and remedy their faults, we are wasting precious time. We are like ploughmen each of whom has his team to manage and his plough to direct, and in order to keep his furrow straight he must keep his eye on his goal and concentrate on his own task. If he looks to this side and that to see how Tom and Harry are getting on and to criticize their ploughing, then his own furrow will assuredly become crooked." (Shoghi Effendi- From a letter written to an individual believer, May 12, 1925: Living the Life, pp. 2-3)
“Let your thoughts dwell on your own spiritual development, and close your eyes to the deficiencies of other souls.”